March 19, 2014 by New Capel Street: Fabric Division
It’s mid-March, and I’ve made very little for myself this year so far. My resolution for this year to be the year of Shit That Fits has so far resulted in getting rid of several bags of clothing, and a lot of humming and hawing in shops. I’ve basically got one pair of jeans that actually fits. But all I’ve made for myself that fits? Two pieces of LRP kit (more on those another time).
I have a laundry list of things I want to make, and things I want to acquire. Some of the things even correspond to Fabric Mountain. But yet, they remain unmade, and I’m still wearing clothes that are too big, too old, too scruffy. I’ve been casually playing with the Wardrobe Architect project, and really enjoying the mental exercise, and have come to some conclusions.
While comfort is certainly a massive part of my liking for loose clothing, at the end of the day my hesitation is about fear. All about fear. Fear of trying on new clothing and having it not fit, then leaving a shop feeling bad. Fear of making new clothing, having it not fit, and feeling incompetent. Or, fear of making new clothing, having it fit just fine, but feeling inferior or like it has to ‘pass’.
This last one, I know rationally, is pure, straight-up bullshit. Why? Because I’m never more confident than when I’m wearing things I’ve made. Never stand up straighter than when I know that at least one tiny detail of my crazy life is under control – even something as small as a pair of handwarmers.
The fear extends to fear of being noticed – I’ve never been comfortable with attention, just in case it turns negative – but that was a long time ago and I’m surely old enough to know better.
I don’t really have a conclusion here, other than I know I want to make more things for myself, but it won’t be this month.